YuGiOh! does Austin Powers!
by Celestial Assassin
Summary: The cast of Yu-Gi-Oh does Austin Powers! See who plays who in this zany re-telling of an old favorite!!


Jade: Ok people!! We're doing the movie, Austin Powers!!  
  
Kiya: Oh jeez. Who's playing whom?  
  
Jade: Austin Powers will be played by Joey Wheeler!  
  
Joey: YES!!! **Jumps up and down happily**  
  
Jade: Vanessa Kensington will be played by Isis Ishtar  
  
Isis: But, don't they ~sleep~ together?  
  
Jade: **Nods**  
  
Isis: **Shudders**  
  
Jade: Dr. Evil will be played by Yami Malik  
  
Yami Malik: Cool!!  
  
Jade: Basil Exposition will be played by Bakura  
  
Bakura: Who's he?  
  
Jade: Some British dude whose head of British Intelligence.  
  
Bakura: ^_^ Ok.  
  
Jade: Frou Farbissena will be played by Tèa Gardener  
  
Tea: Ok, great!  
  
Jade: Frou is gay, hon.  
  
Tea: Darn!  
  
Jade: Scott Evil will be played by Tristan Taylor, Mustafa will be played by Maximillion Pegasus, Mrs. Kensington will be played by Serenity Wheeler, Patty O'Brien will be played by Weevil Underwood, Random Task will be played by Yami Bakura, #2 will be played by Seto Kaiba, and Alotta Fagina will be played by Mai Valentine.  
  
Yami Bakura: Isn't Random Task that fat Chinese dude?  
  
Jade: Yep! ^_^  
  
Yami Bakura: DIE!!! **Tries to strangle Jade**  
  
Kiya: Down boy!!  
  
Yami Bakura: I HATE YOU!! I'LL GET YOU ONE OF THESE DAYS!! YOU WATCH!!  
  
Jade: PLACES!!  
  
1967 Somewhere outside Las Vegas  
  
Yami Malik (Dr. Evil)((In a cheesy accent)): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me THE BIGGEST IDIOTS IN THE WORLD!! WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY FRIKKIN' IDIOTS?? **Gets hit in the head with a banana** OW!! I mean, I have gathered here before me the world's most deadly (and stupid) assassins. Yet, each of you has failed to kill JOEY WHEELER!!  
  
Jade: AUSTIN POWERS!!  
  
Yami Malik (Dr. Evil): Right. That makes me angry, and when Yami Malik gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset (pauses) PEOPLE DIE!!  
  
(Screams are heard as 3((I think)) chairs fall back, and 6 people are fed to flames)  
  
Yami Malik (Dr. Evil): Why must I be surrounded by frikkin' idiots?  
  
(3 more chairs flip backwards)  
  
Yami Malik (Dr. Evil): Pegasus, Tea Gardener, I have spared your pathetic lives because I need you to help me rid the world or Britain's top secret agent. He's the only man who can stop me now. We must kill JOEY WHEELER!!  
  
Jade: Austin Powers!  
  
Yami Malik (Dr. Evil): Right!  
  
Jade: All right, next scene!!  
  
Yami Malik: **Sneezes** Get this damn cat away from me!! I'm allergic!!  
  
Malik: **Snickers**  
  
Yami Malik: **Smacks Malik upside the head**  
  
Malik: @_@  
  
Jade: PLACES!!  
  
London, England  
  
(Joey Wheeler as Austin Powers begins walking down the street. Many girls see him, and start running after him, screaming. He stops, and begins taking photos at an outdoor photo-taking place)  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): Come on babies, work with me people. (Takes a shot) Show me love.  
  
(Takes many more pictures)  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): Great, baby!! Yeah! (Walks up to one of the models who smiles suggestively) Oh, behave!  
  
Kiya (Random Woman; Off stage): OH MY GOD!! IT'S AUSTIN POWERS!!  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): (Begins running again. He hides out in a phone booth, but it caught. Then, he hides behind a magazine. He is caught again. He runs around a corner, and when he comes back, he is leading a marching band. After awhile, he stops, and everybody begins dancing. As the people are dancing, a car pulls up. Joey ((Austin)) hops in) Hello Mrs. Kensington.  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): Hello Austin.  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): Why don't you ever model for my, Mrs. Kensington?  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): You know how Mr. Kensington feels about that. Oh, screw it! My own brother is hitting on me!!  
  
Jade: Serenity, it's just a fake!! He's not really hitting on you!!  
  
Serenity: It feels. wrong.  
  
Joey: I'm da one doin' da hittin' on!  
  
Jade: Just shut up and do it!!  
  
Serenity and Joey: FINE!  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): (Laughs) Oh, behave! Yeah! Yeah, baby, yeah! (Smiles at Serenity (Mrs. Kensington) Oh!  
  
(A red light goes off, and Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers) opens up the glove compartment revealing a picture phone)  
  
Bakura (Basil Exposition): Hello Austin. I'm Basil Exposition with British Intelligence. (Joey (Austin) nods while rolling his eyes slightly) We have just received word that Dr. Evil is planning a trap for you tonight at the Electric Psychedelic Pussy Cat Swingers Club here in swinging London!  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): We'll be there!  
  
Jade: That was great!!  
  
Bakura: (Takes off all the make up and the wig he had on) God, I sounded like an idiot.  
  
Jade: Basil IS an idiot.  
  
Bakura: I feel so unloved!! : (  
  
Jade: Awwww (Hugs Bakura)  
  
Bakura: ^______^  
  
Jade: (Yells while still hugging Bakura) NEXT SCENE!!  
  
Bakura: @_@ MY EARDRUM!! I'M DEAF!! BLOODY HELL!!  
  
Yami Bakura: (Crying fakely) My little hikari's all grown up and sayin' swear words!! (Dabs at a 'tear')  
  
Jade: All right, all right. Come on! Next scene already!!  
  
At the club.  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): (Steps out of her car, and waves to all of Austin's screaming fans. Her and Austin walk in) Austin, it's a swinging shindig!  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): It's my happening, baby, and it freaks my out!  
  
Kiya (Random Waitress): Can I get you anything, Mr. Powers  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): Sure. (He begins dancing)  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): Austin, we've got to look for Doctor Evil.  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): Wait. I have an idea. (Punches the waitress)  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): Dammit Joey!! How many times do I have to tell you not to go around punching random women!!  
  
Jade: Dammit, Serenity!!  
  
Serenity: Ack!! My virgin ears!!  
  
Jade: Shut up and say your damn line!  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): Fine. Austin, why on earth did you hit that woman?  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): Let me show you, baby. That ain't no woman. It's a man, man. (Pulls off a wig revealing a man. Who just so happens to be Pegasus ^_~) One of Dr. Evil's assassins.  
  
Yugi Motou (Random Dude): Look out! He's got a knife!  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): (Begins acting like a ninja.)  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): (Punches the dude out)  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): Good work, Mrs. Kensington. (Tries to pick the dude up) Get up! Get up! Where's Dr. Evil, huh? (The dude id shot in the back with a dart.) There's the bastard. C'mon, let's go. (He drops the 'dead' dude and follows Dr. Evil up the stairs) I've got you know, you son of a bitch.  
  
Jade: God damn it, Joey!! SAY YOUR LINES!!!  
  
Joey: Fine!! (Mumbles) bitch  
  
Joey Wheeler (Austin Powers): I've got you now (emphasizes) Doctor Evil.  
  
Jade: Joeeeeeeeey  
  
Yami Malik (Dr. Evil): Not This time. Come Mr. Bigglesworth! See you in the future, Mr. Asshole!  
  
Joey: GODDAMIT MARIK!!  
  
Yami Malik: You asshole!! I HATE BEING CALLED MARIK!!  
  
Jade: SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP YOU DIMWITS!!  
  
Yami Malik (Dr. Evil): (Catches Mr. Bigglesworth and sneezes. He proceeds to laugh like a maniac ((which sounds totally GIRLY!))  
  
Serenity Wheeler (Mrs. Kensington): My god! He's freezing himself!  
  
Joey: No duh, sis.  
  
Jade (Narrator): And so Dr. Evil escaped and had himself cryogenically frozen, to return at a time when free love no longer reigned and greed and corruption ruled again.  
  
Joey: Is that all?  
  
Jade: Yep. Chapter 2 will be up soon! Enjoy! 


End file.
